


Who's That Pala-Dude?

by AstroPhantom (AstroGold)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fun Sentry Zine, Gen, Pranks, Sorry Shiro, had to work in a Star Trek reference, mischief abounds, razzle-dazzle - Freeform, red lion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 16:05:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17870399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGold/pseuds/AstroPhantom
Summary: It's a prank involving FunSen - what more could you want? For Fun Sentry Zine





	Who's That Pala-Dude?

****“Oh man, that was priceless! Who should we get next?”

“I’ve noticed the on-duty navigator can be quite skittish when not alert.”

“To the bridge we go then!”

Three paladins and a sentry made their way through Galra HQ, laughing over a day of pranks and mischief as they prepared for their next victim. They'd already given six Galra personnel near-heart attacks in the past varga with their current prank, and it only got funnier with each one. No one was stopping them, though; they were Lotor's friends now, and Lotor was in charge.

Lance was the first to peek around the corner to the bridge. There was a single officer in front of the helm, his hands relaxing comfortably behind his back as he stared listlessly ahead into space. Lance smirked before turning to FunSen (Hunk had come up with the name). "Is that him?" he whispered.

FunSen tilted forward to check, then leaned back and said, "Yeah."

A grin lit up Lance's face. "Alright then, man, do your thing."

Pidge, Hunk, and Lance held their breath as FunSen started to play audio from his internal speaker. Zarkon's voice, dark and foreboding, filled the air.

"Lieutenant!" The boom was answered with a sharp yelp, forcing the trio to cover their laughter. "Why are we not pursuing Voltron?"

The officer sounded like he was pulling himself up off the ground, breathing heavily as he stuttered, "E-E-Emperor Zarkon? Sir?! What in the-"

"I asked you a question, lieutenant. I suggest you answer." The threatening tone sent shivers down even the paladins' spines, which made it harder to keep quiet.

The lieutenant, meanwhile, seemed to have lost his voice. "I- uh, sir, weren't you- oh my, uh...di-didn't you die...sir?"

FunSen paused as if a wave of genius struck him, then he deadpanned in Zarkon's voice, "Indeed I did. Now _where_ is Voltron?"

When the lieutenant burst into tears, the group fled the corner. Their laughter was echoing off the walls by the time they reached the other end of the hall. Lance and Hunk leaned back against the wall, trying to catch their breath, while FunSen casually leaned on Pidge's head, causing her to growl in protest before smiling again.

"Dude, we made him _cry_!" she laughed. "We finally got another one!"

"I know! Hopefully we can make that three total if the next one cries, too," Hunk noted. "Who's next?" Before he could get an answer, his wrist gauntlet beeped. He held it up for the group as Shiro and Coran popped up on his screen. They looked like they were walking down a hall.

"Team, get to your lions, quick," Shiro ordered.

Lance leaned in over Hunk's shoulder to look at him and asked, "Why? What's going on?"

"Got a distress call from a nearby planet-"

"Planet Vulcan," Coran interjected.

Shiro nodded to the advisor and looked back at them. "—Right, planet Vulcan. A group of Galra deserters have ravaged a village for supplies and destroyed some buildings. We need to get those supplies back and help clear the debris before it gets worse."

Hunk locked eyes with Lance and Pidge in silent understanding and answered, "We'll be right there."

"Good. See you in a few."

The screen disappeared and Hunk lowered his arm. "Well, I guess we're done with pranks for now," he said, seemingly putting a pin in everyone's balloon. They were having too much fun to just stop suddenly.

Pidge shrugged off FunSen's arm. "C'mon, guys, let's go be heroes," she sighed, as if it was a bad thing.

All three paladins began to walk back towards the Castle of Lions in the docking bay, but a monotone voice stopped them. "What about me?"

If robots could look dejected, FunSen was doing that and then some.

The group paused and looked at each other, then at him. Pidge spoke up for them. "Sorry, man, but you can't come with us on a mission."

"Yeah, we'll be right back though," Hunk added.

They were about to turn and keep walking, but Lance stopped them. He had his hand propped up in a thinking pose as he suggested, "Now wait a tick...what if he did come with us and, I don't know, became a Paladin for the afternoon?" His eyes flashed to each member of the group, waiting to gauge their reactions. FunSen had certainly perked up.

Hunk and Pidge, however, looked at him as if he'd swallowed a vat of quintessence. "What? Lance, no," Pidge dismissed quickly. "I can't even begin to count how many things are wrong with that idea."

"Not least of which is that the lions wouldn't allow him to pilot any of them," Hunk pointed out with a shrug. FunSen's shoulders fell.

Lance rolled his eyes. "I know _that_. What I mean is..." he paused, trying to think of the best way to word his idea. "Well, Shiro doesn't know we made a fun sentry, right? Sooooo what if FunSen is in one of our lions for the mission and just answers everything for us over the comms so it seems like he's the one flying?" _That_ seemed to ignite a spark of consideration in his friends as they thought it over, so he kept on talking, "Besides, it's not like it's gonna be a hard mission. We'll probably just have to destroy a couple of Galra ships and move some rocks. Plenty of time to prank Shiro." He grinned deviously yet hopefully. There wasn't any reason their fun needed to end so soon.

Hunk was the first to get on board. "I mean...it would be pretty funny."

"Yeah, and I guess so long as he's just talking, I don't see any harm in it," Pidge agreed.

Lance flashed them both a smile of gratitude, and all three turned to FunSen, chuckling when they saw him. His hands were brought together in a begging pose, and his viewport practically sparkled with hope and mischief.

"You're in, buddy," Lance told him with a soft laugh.

FunSen raised his arms victoriously and yelled, "Yay! I get to be a pala-dude!"

The other three cheered with him and started to walk towards the Castle with renewed energy. But before they could get far, Lance casually began, "And since this was my idea, I think it's only fair to say...I CALL THE FUN SENTRY!"

With a tug on FunSen's arm to move him along, the two of them took off in a sprint through Galra HQ. Lance laughed carelessly as he glanced back to see Hunk and Pidge caught off-guard before they started to chase after them.

The group made it to the Castle in record time, only slowing up once to avoid suspicion from Coran, who was still talking to a Galra officer in the main hall as they passed. Once on the Castle, Hunk and Pidge checked the bridge first to make sure Allura and Shiro had already gone to their lions before giving the all-clear for Lance to sneak FunSen to his turbo-lift. As they stepped in together, Lance put on his helmet.

"Alright, man. Now, there's kind of an obstacle course to get to our lions," Lance began as the lift took them down, "Starting with a zip line, so...I'm just gonna hop on your back for that, okay?"

FunSen was giddy with excitement and nodded fervently. When the lift's doors opened again, Lance grabbed his shoulders and jumped up on his back. He felt powerful from this position. "Onward!" he shouted, prompting FunSen to jump forward and grab onto the zip line.

The ride down to the Red Lion was a wild one. FunSen let out an amplified, "Wheeeee!" on the zip line, causing Lance to laugh until he was breathless. Once they got to Red, Lance piloted him out of his hangar into space to keep up with the rest of the team, then turned off his mic so he and FunSen could talk about the prank. They had some time to spare before they got to Vulcan.

Lance looked up at FunSen to his left, who stood at the ready, eager to get the prank going. He was right there with him. "Okay, FunSen. You see that button riiiiiight there, on the dash?" Lance stretched and pointed to a circle on the backlit panel, waiting for FunSen to nod before continuing. "That's the manual switch for Red's mic. Push that and you can talk to the team."

FunSen started to reach for the button, but Lance immediately shoved his arm back. His pulse quickened at the almost-blown cover.

"Not yet, big guy!" he chided, softening when the sentry returned to his ready stance and looked imploringly back at him.

"Sorry."

Lance smiled and shook his head. "No worries. But anyway, what I'm thinking is, once Shiro starts talking to us, I'll tell you what to say, and then you press that button and answer for me, using your voice. Sound good?"

"Affirmative," FunSen answered.

Lance could've sworn he heard a smirk in his voice, and it gave him the shot of courage he didn't even know he needed. True, this was going to be hilarious, but there'd been that nagging voice in the back of his mind that this was taking it too far. He knew it wouldn't really affect the mission—he was confident in himself and his team to get it done—but he hoped Shiro wouldn't be too mad in the end. It was a risky prank, but they all deserved, no, _needed_ to let loose, Shiro included. And that's what they had a fun sentry for.

"Let's have some fun, shall we?"

* * *

Within half a varga, the team neared their destination. Shiro's voice came over the Red Lion's speakers, serious and ready for business. "Okay, team. According to my scanners, the Galra ships have already left Vulcan and are heading our way. It's important that we don't completely destroy their cargo ships, we just want to damage them enough for capture and transport back to the planet so we can return those supplies. Lance, I need you to go after any ships that break off from the group."

Lance smiled mischievously, ready to begin the prank. Even though his mic was off, he spoke in a hushed tone to FunSen. "Okay, buddy, time to shine!"

After Lance told him what to say, FunSen pressed Red's mic button, his other hand resting purposefully on his hip. He echoed, "Got it, Shiro," then let go of the button.

If he could, Shiro would've had one of those "slam-on-the-brakes-and-screech-tires" moments with his lion just then. Allura seemed equally as flustered in her lion, and Lance could only imagine how hard Pidge and Hunk were trying to muffle their laughter. He wasn't faring much better.

"Wha-Who is that?!" Shiro asked worriedly. "Where's Lance?"

"What's going on?" Allura chimed in.

Lance gave FunSen more dialogue and straightened up in his seat. He needed to watch carefully for any sudden movements from the Black or Blue Lions, should they come for him.

FunSen answered in his monotone robot voice, "I _am_ Lance, the Red Pala-dude—I mean, Paladin." Lance was caught somewhere between wincing and laughing at the sentry's slip of the tongue. _Er, wires_ , he thought. He then quickly whispered an additional line for him to say, and Funsen deadpanned, "Pow pow pow." As soon as FunSen let go of the button again, Lance nearly snorted at Shiro's confusion.

Shiro's face suddenly popped up on Red's dashboard for a two-way conversation, but Lance kept his viewer off. "Lance!" Shiro demanded. "Where are you? Who's flying your lion?"

Lance kept feeding FunSen replies. "What do you mean? I, Lance, am flying my lion."

"Then turn on your screen so I can see you."

Lance shook his head. FunSen said, "I cannot."

"Why not?"

As Lance wracked his brain for an excuse, FunSen shocked him by taking the initiative and answering on his own, "Because as a team, we're supposed to trust each other."

The shock was immediately mixed with a deep, unbridled laugh from Lance's soul. He was in awe of FunSen's clever quip, and found himself leaning against FunSen's arm as he tried to gather himself. But man oh man, the adrenaline was going now.

Shiro let out a groan, his head hanging low, before turning his screen off and addressing the rest of the team. "Do any of the rest of you know where Lance is?"

"He said he's in his lion, Shiro," Hunk innocently played along, with Pidge humming in agreement. She sounded like she would break if she spoke right then.

Allura took a moment to inform, "Shiro, I just asked Coran if Lance is back at the Castle, but his sensors confirm that he's on the Red Lion."

That answer seemed to give Shiro some composure. "Lance, we know you're there. Unless you've been kidnapped or something, please respond."

Lance could hear the "Garrison instructor" tone spilling into Shiro's voice, but he was having too much fun to stop the charade now. He simply shrugged to FunSen for him to answer on his own again.

"Lance here. What's up?"

Multiple shots suddenly rattled the lions, and Shiro immediately dove into team leader mode. "Alright, I don't know what's up with our Red Paladin, but it seems our target found us first. Pidge, Allura, and Lance, if you're there, I need you to stay with me and help me handle these guys. Hunk, go ahead to the planet and start clearing up that debris." Another shot seemed to rattle the Black Lion as Shiro grunted. "I'll cover your tail while you get past these guys."

There were two cargo ships and a handful of Galra fighters. While Pidge started to go in to neutralize the cargo ships, Lance and Allura, and eventually Shiro, made quick work of the fighters. When one of them zoomed off ahead of the group, Lance easily tracked it down and shot it, causing a spectacular explosion that seemed to enthrall FunSen.

Lance smirked at his wingman, telling him, "And that's how you razzle-dazzle 'em."

Hunk suddenly yelled out over the comm, "Heeeeey guys! Could use some help down here." It sounded like he was being shot at in the background. "Some more fighters just took off, and I can't get them all on my own, not with this debris!"

"Pidge...Red Paladin—” Lance snorted at Shiro's choice of words. "—go down and help Hunk. Allura and I will follow with these cargo ships."

Lance was already starting to fly towards Vulcan, but he told FunSen to respond with, "Sure thing, team leader."

"Lance, I swear when this mission is done..." Shiro trailed off, clearly frustrated and riled up.

There wasn't any time to respond to the unfinished threat, what with Hunk facing his own down on the planet, yet Lance couldn't help but think to himself (half-apologetic, half-amused), _Sorry, Shiro, but this is too funny_.

Pidge and Lance defeated three fighters with practiced ease when they reached the surface, and proceeded to help Hunk clear the remaining debris. By the time they were all finished, Shiro and Allura had landed with the cargo ships. After they released the ships, all the lions hovered above the ground, taking stock of the situation. A small group of Vulcans was starting to gather nearby, watching them with curiosity.

"We did it, team! Nice work," Shiro complimented everybody, letting out a sigh of satisfaction.

As the rest of the team agreed and cheered, Lance gave FunSen one final line to say for him, one that made him smile fondly. This would be the nail in the Robeast coffin for sure.

FunSen pressed the dashboard's button yet again and repeated, "Let's set them down over there, and get ready for the parade."

The only sound heard in response was a loud, but muffled scream over the comm, undoubtedly the sign of Shiro having met his wit's end. Lance lost it then, laughter overtaking him until his shoulders shook from the force.

Shiro cut them off. "Yep. Everybody land. Now."

Despite the impending lecture, Lance kept chuckling as the team landed. He knew Shiro was fed up now, but the payoff was too great to ignore. They'd gotten him good.

Shiro was the first to leave his lion, practically sprinting over to the Red Lion as more Vulcans gathered around them, unaware of the situation. The rest of the team huddled around their leader as they waited for Red to open up and reveal his Paladin. Pidge and Hunk were doing their best to hide the fact that they knew they were up to something.

Yet it wasn't Lance who walked out.

When Red set his chin on the ground and opened his mouth, FunSen strolled down and posed proudly in front of the lion, red bayard in one hand and blue helmet tucked under the other arm. Pidge pulled her camera out to take a picture, moving on auto-pilot as even she and Hunk had been left in awe of the sight. Allura was confused, until something clicked in her mind and she remembered that Lotor had left the trio with a sentry after Shiro had left earlier, and she facepalmed in realization.

Shiro was completely dumbfounded. He stood there motionless, mouth agape, as his resolve completely crumbled. He marched up to FunSen in a daze, stuttering half-formed questions. "How...when did... _who_..." FunSen merely stood there, not budging in the slightest. After a few seconds, however, Shiro seemed to find his voice long enough for one question. "...Where's Lance?"

"Right here."

Shiro jumped and whipped around at the sound to see Lance standing in his armor right behind him, a big casual grin on his face. He had to bite his tongue when Shiro's eye twitched.

"I think we broke Shiro," Pidge whispered to Hunk, who nodded as they tried to suppress their giggles.

Shiro simply looked between Lance and FunSen, speechless and lost. Lance took that as an opportunity to sling an arm around his shoulder and gesture towards the sentry. "Shiro, meet FunSen."

Lance left Shiro to take his helmet and bayard back, then stood off to the side between the two. He kept his smile up, but inside he was hoping they hadn't gone too far. He just wished Shiro would say _something_ already.

FunSen took an experimental step forward, then another, and put his hand up towards Shiro for a high-five. "Pala-dude?" he offered in good will.

The group collectively held their breath as Shiro seemed to process everything, including that he'd just been pranked. There were still some pieces of the puzzle missing, but to everyone's surprise he started smiling and shook his head with a small laugh before returning FunSen's high-five. "Pala-dude."

The trio collectively sighed in relief, then joined in on the laughter. They'd succeeded with their prank, and Shiro was taking it well. All in all, a successful mission.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Shiro snickered, pulling Lance into a headlock to ruffle his hair. Lance pushed him off, yet smiled in appreciation at the sentiment. After returning it, Shiro clapped his hands together and looked around the group. "Alright...pala-dudes—" FunSen perked up proudly at the term. "—let's wrap things up with the Vulcans, and then get back to the Castle."

The team agreed and started for the group of Vulcans standing nearby. Yet despite the new camaraderie between the two, no one missed Shiro's involuntary groan at FunSen's final remark.

"And that's how you razzle-dazzle 'em."

**Author's Note:**

> At last, I finally get to share my fic for the @funsentryzine! :D This is, without a doubt, one of the silliest things I’ve ever written. FunSen, buddy, I hope you’re still enjoying your adventure through the stars! Say hi to Spock for me, will ya?
> 
> Special shout-out to @hailqiqi for being a total champ at beta-ing this!


End file.
